


The Menagerie

by auroramcchicken



Series: King of the Animals [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto and Kuroo don't like Oikawa, Bokuto and Kuroo will still take Oikawa over Ushiwaka though, Gen, I promise Bokuto isn't creepy, Kenma thinks it's hilarious, M/M, Oikawa's thirst is real, Tanaka Ryuunosuke is a Good Friend, Ushiwaka's ex gf shows up in flashbacks, chapters 3 and 4 are one longer story, for now anyway, matsuhana and kyouhaba are mentioned, sorry ushijima, tanaka thinks he caught the gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-19 08:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8197894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroramcchicken/pseuds/auroramcchicken
Summary: A sequel to A Murder in Love, focusing on non-Karasuno pairs.1. KuroKen- Kuroo wants Kenma to set his sights higher, but Kenma doesn't want to do it without Kuroo.2. BokuAka- Bokuto asks out Akaashi every day of his high school career.3. The Triangle, Part 1: Ushijima and Oikawa are at the same college now. Ushijima still wants Oikawa, but it'll come at a price...4. The Triangle, Part 2: Oikawa finally realized what he wants, but will Iwaizumi let him have it?5. Tanaka thinks he likes Ennoshita, but does he really? Or is this a misguided attempt to support Nishinoya?





	1. KuroKen

"What's this, Kenma?"

Tetsuro Kuroo pulled out a piece of paper that he'd found buried underneath a pile on Kenma's desk. On a visit home for the weekend, Kuroo inevitably ended up in Kenma's room within two hours of his arrival.

"The guidance counselor thinks I could get into Tokyo Tech if I applied myself this year."

"That's great! You should definitely do it. What's that face? That's the face you have when Lev does… well, anything, really."

I don't want to. I want to go with you. There are opportunities at Teikyou, too. I can become an engineer anywhere, but there's only one school where I can be with you.

"Are you trying to get rid of me, Kuro? Why don't you want me to go to school with you?"

Kuroo immediately sighed. "We've gone over this, Kenma. It's not that I don't want you around. Tokyo Tech is one of the top universities in the world; you could get any job you wanted if you went there."

"And I keep telling you, that's not the point. You don't go to Tokyo Tech."

"No, I don't. But you should. You're too good for me, Kenma."

"And who are you to decide that for me?" Kuroo had never seen Kenma as angry as he was in that moment, not even when he had to work with Lev. "For a long time, you were the only kid in the neighborhood who would even talk to me. Even now, you're still the most important person to me. Haven't you realized that I'm in love with you?"

Kuroo shook his head. "You don't mean that. There's no way someone as wonderful as you co-"

"There you go again. We're not kids anymore. I'm not a kid anymore. I know what I feel. I think I felt it when we were kids, the feeling that I'd never achieve 100% completion without you."

Kuroo tried not to laugh at that, but failed. "Seriously, Kenma? You're using a video game term here? I still don't agree with your idea, but I know I won't be able to stop you. I know you'll want to move in with this sexy beast right away, but I'm sure your parents will make you live in the dorms, at least for the first year. I'm sure Akaashi will need a roommate."

"Akaashi is going to Teikyou too?"

"If he doesn't, that stupid owl's plans will be all screwed up."

"Akaashi's definitely not going then, if only to mess with him."

Kuroo laughed. "You're right. You know he messages Akaashi on Snapchat about 50 times a day? It's usually pictures of hearts or his face, begging for a date. I'm amazed Akaashi hasn't blocked him yet."

"I know I would have. At least you're not that desperate for some action. I don't know how Akaashi deals with it."

"Bokuto has a face that you just can't get mad at."

"I know you're lying. You're always mad at him for some reason or another."

"Annoyed, yes. Mad, no. There is a difference."

Kenma didn't think this was worth a response, so he fully immersed himself back into his game. "So. You're in love with me, huh?" Why does Kuroo always have to do that stupid smirk?

"I never said that," Kenma replied. Maybe if I play it off as an accident, he'll forget about it.

"Yes, you did. You said, and I quote, 'Haven't you realized that I'm in love with you?'"

"I meant to say something else."

"Like what?"

"Um… shut up."

"Tetsu and Kenma sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage."

"I'm going to beat you."

"I'll kiss you before you can."

Kenma tried to smack Kuroo in the face, but Kuroo grabbed his wrist and kissed his palm before he could manage it.

"Told you."

"That doesn't count, Kuro. Only my lips count."

"Kenma, I didn't know you could be this bold. Is this because you're a third year now?"

"It's because I love you- Tetsu." Kenma blushed, this being the first time he'd ever used Kuroo's first name, even after knowing him all these years.

Kuroo looked like he was about to cry. "Oh, my precious Kenma! You used my first name! I have to call Bokuto and rub it in his face! Oh, maybe I should send him a snap instead, and I'll send it to that asshole Oikawa, too! You know, he didn't believe me when I told him I had a boyfriend!"

Not surprising. "Well, at the time, you didn't have one. You realize that, right? And, Oikawa? Who's that?"

"I guess he's from Miyagi, from Aoba Josei or something. I don't remember what the school's called."

"Aoba Johsai. I've heard Shoyo mention them. I'll have to ask him what he knows about this guy."

"Guy's a dick, anyway. I hate having him as a setter, but he's really good." Kuroo saw that Kenma looked upset, so he changed his tone. "You're way better, though. And cuter. Girls are always squealing over him, but looking at him makes him feel like my dick is going to shrivel back into my body. He comes to our parties, and I don't really want him to, but he brings people in, especially girls, so we don't say anything. I don't want to talk about him. Can we not talk about this while we're cuddling?"

"Kuroo, we're just sitting here. We're not cuddling. You're the one who brought it up, anyway." Kuroo responded by laying back on Kenma's bed, pulling Kenma into his embrace.

"There. We are now."

Based on the way that Kenma rested his head on Kuroo's chest, and didn't protest when Kuroo wrapped his arms around him, Kuroo decided that Kenma must like it, too.


	2. BokuAka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BokuAka- Bokuto asks out Akaashi every day of his high school career.

When Keiji Akaashi went to his first volleyball practice at Fukurodani Academy, he knew what he expected. An awkward introduction, sure, but mostly running and setting practice, the standard sports team experience.

However, he did not expect anyone like Kotaro Bokuto.

Just as he was finishing his awkward introduction ("I'm Akaashi Keiji, a setter. Let's all get along") he heard someone say, "Wow, he's gorgeous." He looked for the source of the outburst and found… what kind of hairstyle was that? That black and white spiky hair was just... something else entirely.

Akaashi quickly learned that Bokuto was nothing if not persistent. Every day before morning practice, Bokuto would always be there, with cries of, "Good morning, Akaashi! Please go on a date with me!" Yes, every day of school, Bokuto would be there to ask him out.

Perhaps knowing that Akaashi was tiring of his antics, Bokuto knew how to switch it up once in a while. When Lawson or 7-Eleven had sales on various food items, he would buy some to bring to Akaashi, frequently via borrowing money from poor Shirofuku. He also learned one day that Bokuto had been attempting to catch an owl for him, when he came in with scratches all over his face and hands, and chunks of hair ripped out of his head.

For his birthday in December, after Bokuto had begged to know the date for a whole week, Bokuto got him an owl plush, which he recognized from the claw machine at the arcade they all went to a few months back. I wonder how much he spent trying to get this for me. Akaashi claimed he threw the plush away, but it found a place on the shelf on his desk.

* * *

Second year rolled around for Akaashi, and things were different for both him and Bokuto. The biggest difference was that Bokuto was now the team captain, and Akaashi still didn't understand how it happened. He'd been voted vice-captain himself, mostly for damage control, as their previous captain had put it.

"Bokuto needs someone to keep him in line," he'd said. "With the way he goes gaga over you, you seemed like the natural choice. Sorry if it becomes too much of a burden."

Akaashi didn't mind, really. He supposed that Bokuto still asked him out every day, but he'd stopped paying attention to it months ago. The thing that shocked Akaashi the most about it was other people's reactions.

"Wow, Akaashi, you are stone cold," was the frequent outburst of Bokuto's best friend, Tetsuro Kuroo. Personally, Akaashi thought that Kuroo was deriving far too much enjoyment out of this situation, but whatever. To delve deeper into it would involve dealing with Kuroo, and that was something he wanted to avoid as much as possible.

Even with Bokuto constantly hitting on him, Akaashi was surprised when the two of them were able to become friends. With that came outings to the movies, shopping, and occasional stops at McDonalds or MOS Burger, none of which Akaashi had to pay for (even if he insisted, and so far he'd only paid on Bokuto's birthday in September). Bokuto was a good companion, if a loud one, who constantly led him to see the display of owl-themed items and talked during movies. More than once, he'd had to lean over and whisper, "With all due respect, Bokuto-san, I need you to _shut the hell up._ " He'd listened for about two minutes before laughing at every remotely funny joke and "did you see that, Akaashi?" He started giving the money he would've spent to poor Shirofuku, as this was almost certainly her money. It wasn't like Bokuto was ever going to pay it back.

Overall, though, second year was pretty good. It felt like it would last forever, even after the third years had retired from the club, Akaashi was named the next captain, and Bokuto was taking entrance exams. For him, it hadn't completely sunk in until the day Bokuto graduated.

* * *

Third year was… different. It was hard to realize how much people meant to you until they weren't always around. Once in a while, Bokuto would come back for a weekend, and they'd go somewhere, but now Bokuto had all these new experiences, ones that didn't involve Akaashi.

Apparently, Bokuto wasn't meeting any new people, because he still asked Akaashi out every single day, albeit via text or Snapchat. Surely, at a school that size, there'd be plenty of people more attractive than Akaashi. He'd never seen himself as being particularly good-looking. From what he'd seen of college brochures, most of them were attended only by part-time models with personalities more interesting than his, seeing as they were always laughing. His mind was quick to go to those dark places, the ones where he was keeping Bokuto from living his new college life to the fullest. Bokuto, with one foot still in high school, not going out with Kuroo and his other friends (he'd mentioned an… Oikawa, was it?) and meeting potential new partners, when they ask if he has anyone he loves and he answers, "Who, me? No way!"

Akaashi didn't like to admit how much his heart hurt after thoughts like those.

It was with those thoughts that he decided to go to Nihon University, which he'd heard that Sawamura and Sugawara, formerly of Karasuno, as well as Yaku from Nekoma went. The art and medicine departments were located pretty close to Bokuto's school, so they could still see each other if they wanted to. However, his interests lie in the science and technology department 45 minutes away from Bokuto, where the architecture department was located.

What the hell was this, anyway? Why did he care so much about what Bokuto was doing and where he was? He never used to care. There was no way he felt the same way as Bokuto did for him- right? During winter break, Bokuto had come to visit him and continued to spout the same love for him as he had before, and it actually made him… happy?

Finally, Akaashi's graduation day had come. He knew Bokuto would be there, that he wouldn't miss it for anything. One of the perks of being so close to the beginning of the alphabet was that he was one of the first to walk across the stage, but it felt like torture to wait for the 400 students behind him. He wanted to talk to Bokuto, dammit! He knew the answer now, after three years of thinking.

It felt like forever, but Zenzo finally crossed the stage, and the ceremony was now over. He heard Bokuto before he saw him, unsurprisingly.

"AAAKAAAAAASHIII!"

He saw a black and white blur running towards him two seconds before it hit them, sending them straight onto the gym floor. It was amazing how neither of them got stepped on, the majority of the graduates knowing Bokuto well enough to get out of his way.

Surprisingly, Bokuto was actually aware of the situation he was in- laying on the floor with Akaashi underneath him, he looked like he was about to explode. Akaashi, however, had other matters he wanted dealt with.

"Bokuto-san. Ask me that question one more time. I'll answer it today."

"Ummm… what question?" _Seriously? This situation is affecting him that much? How simple can you be?_

"The question you ask me every. Single. Day."

"Oh, that one? Is it really okay to do it like this?"

"Whatever. Just ask before I change my mind."

"Alright then." He cleared his throat. "Akaashi Keiji! Please go on a date with me!"

"Okay. When is it? Where are we going?"

"Seriously? You will? I actually hadn't thought that far ahead."

"There's time for that later. But for now, I need you to get off me. My butt is asleep."

Bokuto immediately jumped up, his face beet red, overwhelmed by the mention of Akaashi's butt. Akaashi laughed until he realized he was blushing too. There had been times when he wondered if he had picked the wrong person, but at times like these, he remembered that Bokuto made him happier than anything else, and that was all that mattered.


	3. The Triangle, Part 1: UshiOi side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima and Oikawa are at the same college now. Ushijima still wants Oikawa, but it'll come at a price...

Wakatoshi Ushijima had no real expectations of his first week at Teikyou University in Tokyo. He knew he'd being moving into the sports dorm, on the "volleyball floor," and he'd be meeting new people and attending classes, but he was sure it wouldn't be _that_ different than high school.

If he had any expectations, they would have been shattered before he'd gone to sleep on the first night.

One time, when he left his room to visit the floor bathroom, he'd found no less than five challenge letters taped to his door. He sighed. Why couldn't they just talk to him directly? The notes went into the trash. What was the point of challenging someone on the same team, anyway?

He came back from the bathroom to find two guys with strange hair trying to draw genitalia on his door. Strangely, all he'd had to do was look at them before they'd run away. The one with the spiky black and white hair looked like he was about to start crying.

However, nothing could have prepared him for the surprise after that. Drawn out by the noise in the corridor, Ushijima's neighbor peeked his head out to see who he was. Holy…

Toru Oikawa was his next door neighbor. Why was he screaming and pinching his arm?

"Ahhh! Ushiwaka is here! I have to tell Iwa-chan!" He seemed to call him, because he said, "Iwa-chan, you won't believe this! Ushiwaka is my neighbor here- why are you laughing, Iwa-chan, I'm serious- He hung up on me." So that had been laughter he'd heard- and Iwaizumi hadn't even been on speaker.

Ushijima was surprised by this- if he heard correctly, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were childhood friends, having been together since elementary school. "Your friend isn't here?"

Oikawa scoffed at him. "Um, no. He's going to Nihon University. Anyway, what are you doing here? I heard you were going to Tokyo U."

"This school gave me a scholarship. You may not know this, but I'm not rich."

Oikawa gasped theatrically. "Really? So you went to your stupid prep school on a scholarship? This just in, Ushijima Wakatoshi doesn't have everything!"

He already knew that, of course. But in that moment, all he could say was, "That's not quite true. I have you now. Together we can rule the college leagues and- why are you making that face?"

"I have to go pack my stuff. I'm going to another school."

"You wouldn't be able to go before second semester. _You're stuck with me_." Oikawa shuddered, as if he had breathed into his ear. " _Come into my room, Oikawa. I'll make you see a new color._ "

"EWWW! First you're mocking me, now you're trying to get into my pants! You wouldn't make me see any color other than gray. You've never even had sex before, I bet. Have you even talked to a girl?"

"I have."

"Which question are you answering?"

"Both. A girl at Shiratorizawa told me she liked me after we lost to Karasuno, so I went out with her."

"How do I know you're not lying? Show me a picture of her. What's her name?"

"Seragaki Yoshie. This is her." He pulled up a picture of his phone of himself with a girl with chin-length black hair, wearing a girls' Shiratorizawa uniform. They were standing, she was clinging to his arm while they walked, and she came up to his shoulder. However, while she looked interested in him, he didn't look very interested in her.

"She's pretty cute. I'm guessing she broke up with you."

"She went for the captain of the swim team. She said I was one of the best, though. Just the right size." He looked at Oikawa to see him look like he was about to throw up.

"Hearing Ushiwaka talk about sex is the least sexy thing I've ever heard. If I don't go to the first practice tomorrow, it's because I died."

"You know I hate it when you call me that."

"I sure do, _Ushiwaka-chan._ "

* * *

The first practice was uneventful. He learned that the guys who had tried to draw on his door were Tetsuro Kuroo and Kotaro Bokuto, and they both looked terrified of him, and then angry when Oikawa insulted their hair. Oikawa, for his part, refused to even look at him, and wouldn't toss to him until the coach screamed at him.

How was it that Oikawa still managed to look so pretty, for lack of a better word, in the locker room? Not that he was staring- with about 50 people in the locker room at once, it was almost impossible to stare without being caught. But having seen Yoshie's legs prominently, whether it be in the school skirt or those dresses she liked to wear on weekends, as well as the few times they'd had sex, he had to say that, while Oikawa's were longer, hairier, and far more muscular, they were just as nice to look at.

* * *

It wasn't until the end of May that things changed between them. Kuroo and Bokuto, as they did every Saturday night, were having a party. They invaded the floor lounge, set up the cheap lights they got at a party store, played their music (Ushijima wasn't familiar with modern music, but he knew this artist was one Yoshie had been a fan of) and watched as the lounge was filled far past capacity, with the captain of the gymnastics team bringing a keg, which she somehow managed to smuggle past security, in spite of her 4'10", 90 pound frame. Ushijima didn't usually go to these parties, but somehow his roommate, Takeuchi, had convinced him.

"Come on, Ushijima! It'll be fun! Somebody'll bring beer, and there'll be girls there! Last week, the cheerleaders came, and it was great! You never have fun. One night won't kill you!"

It was with those words in mind that he entered the lounge. He'd never been to a party before, and he had no idea what to expect. It couldn't be as wild as the ones in Hollywood movies, given the lack of space. It was mostly just people talking and dancing, with the occasional burst of laughter. Suddenly, he'd been pushed, colliding into something soft-

"Hey! Watch where you're going, you big idiot!"

-Make that someone. The voice sounded familiar, too. He turned around to find Toru Oikawa, looking even angrier than he'd ever seen him before. The beer he'd been holding was now all over his shirt. The anger suddenly switched to a smirk. What was going on?

"Oh, Ushiwaka. Just the person I wanted to see. Let's go back to my room so I can change my shirt."

"Can't you do that by yourself? What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you hated Kuroo and Bokuto."

"They throw good parties, and they don't seem to care that I show up, so it's all good. Anyway, I do need help. I might put it on wrong."

Oikawa's ulterior motives became clear when they got to his door and, instead of going inside, Oikawa pinned him to the door and kissed him, right where anyone could walk by and see.

"Shouldn't we go inside?" Yoshie had kissed him at her door, not worrying if anyone saw, but he knew it was different when he and Oikawa were both men. In addition, it was almost impossible to focus on anything when Oikawa was kissing his neck and moaning.

"That's the best thing you've ever said." Oikawa stripped off his shirt and lay on his bed, like he was the centerfold of Ushijima's dreams. "Aren't you going to get on top of me? I could easily find somebody else."

Yoshie had usually taken the lead when they'd had sex. Ushijima went in for a kiss, while Oikawa reached under his shirt to feel his muscles. "They're as big as I thought they'd be." It wasn't too long before Oikawa was reaching for his crotch, too. "That girl was right, it is the perfect size. And it just got bigger. Lucky me. Now take your shirt off."

Ushijima did as he was told, but for whatever reason, Oikawa wasn't looking. He decided to move on and attempt to take off Oikawa's pants. He had just brushed his hands past the back of Oikawa's knees when he heard the words that would haunt him.

"Iwa-chan! Do that again."

He had no idea what to do after that. It was clear that Oikawa didn't really want him, so he did the only thing he could.

He got off the bed and went back to his own room.


	4. The Triangle, Part 2: IwaOi side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Triangle, Part 2: Oikawa finally realized what he wants, but will Iwaizumi let him have it?

In the moment, all Oikawa could do was lay on his bed, his shirt on the floor and his pants halfway down his calves. Ushiwaka had just been above him, and they probably would've gone all the way if he hadn't left.

Why did he invite Ushiwaka in, anyway? He was obviously scared, and lying about not being a virgin. Or maybe he was- no, that couldn't be right.

There was no way he was jealous. Iwaizumi had sent him a snap earlier. A few guys on his team had invited him to a mixer with some girls from another school. He couldn't possibly be jealous of the girls-

Why would he be jealous of the girls? Iwaizumi wasn't that great, with his stupid giant arms and his mean nicknames for him and the smile that lit up the room, on the rare occasions that he smiled, making it feel like he was witnessing a rare comet or something-

Holy shit. Had he always had it that bad? There was the time they were seven and he said he wanted to marry Iwa-chan. Then there were all the times that Hanamaki and Matsukawa teased them about needing to get a room (making themselves major hypocrites in the process). Precious Yahaba, the next captain and setter, frequently modeled himself after him… most recently by having a relationship with the gruff, rough around the edges but loyal ace. Even Kunimi, who slept most of the time, managed to get in on the act.

For all that Oikawa made fun of him, saying he wasn't as attractive as him, he was the one who fell in love first. How could he ever confess when things were like this?

There was no denying it, though. He couldn't do anything about Iwaizumi until he figured out why Ushiwaka left.

* * *

 _Here goes nothing,_ Oikawa thought. Since they didn't have practice on Sundays, Oikawa knew he would be in his room for about ten more minutes before he went for breakfast. Since he knew he would lose his nerve if he didn't do this right now, he reached his hand out and knocked on Ushiwaka's door.

He opened it for about five seconds before closing it again, so Oikawa kept knocking.

"I see you won't leave until you get what you want, so out with it."

"Why did you leave last night?" All Ushijima could do was stare blankly, as if to ask, _Are you fucking kidding me?_

"I don't like being a backup plan, Oikawa. It was bad enough when she did it, but you, too?"

"What are you talking about?"

"She at least had the decency to say my name when we were together."

"Did I not do that?"

"You said Iwa-chan."

Oikawa had realized the truth by this point, but it wasn't until Ushijima's words that he truly understood the extent of things.

"So it's been him all along, huh? I can't say I like how things have turned out, but some things just weren't supposed to happen, I guess. I know when I'm beaten."

Oikawa never thought he would feel bad for Ushijima, but he was proven wrong. He knew that there was nothing he could do to make things okay between them, but he knew he had to try.

All that was left now was to make things right with Iwaizumi.

* * *

Why did Iwaizumi's school have to be on the opposite side of Tokyo? Setagaya was so far away from Itabashi! He practically had to leave the ward just to get on the train! Once he finally got there, he had no clue how to read the map! He liked Tokyo and all, but public transport was so much easier in Miyagi! So he was on the dark blue line, but wait, that's the wrong way! So he just had to take Yamanote to Shinjuku, going past Ikebukuro, but stopping before Harajuku and Shibuya, and the Keio line would take him the rest of the way! He was kind of upset that he wouldn't get to take the subway, but he could do that another time, when the map didn't look like a mess of jumbled string.

Luckily for Oikawa, Iwaizumi's school was right by the station. This being the first time he'd really been out since coming to Tokyo, he was amazed by just how much of everything there was. Things, people… Sendai was one of the bigger cities in Japan, he knew that, but it couldn't have prepared him for Tokyo.

He briefly allowed himself to laugh at their respective positions. Iwaizumi was the one who was in the big school by the train station and all the expensive-looking stores, while Oikawa was the one who was pretty much in the suburbs, who had to leave the neighborhood just to get on the train, and would probably have to go to Ikebukuro just to do any shopping. He was sure that most people who knew them would be surprised, would be sure that they should be reversed.

He wondered why he was doing this that particular day, the day after he tried to hook up with Ushiwaka. He really should've done that in Ushiwaka's room, but that would mean that either Ushiwaka would've kicked him out, or they would have gone all the way, and Oikawa wouldn't be a virgin anymore. Not that he'd ever cared before, but now that he knew he was in love with somebody, might as well save it for Iwa-chan, right? Either he'd be flattered, or he'd try to do a chokeslam on him again.

* * *

After what felt like a million years on the train, alone with his thoughts and his phone, he finally made it to Iwaizumi's school. He'd tried to talk to him on every social network he could think of, even resorting to texting and calling him, but he hadn't received a single response. He had forced Iwaizumi to tell him his dorm room address before they left, so that they could visit each other, but after two months with almost no contact, visits were becoming less and less likely. Maybe they wouldn't have seen each other at all until summer break back in Miyagi if Oikawa hadn't come today.

Just as Oikawa was about a block away from Iwaizumi's building, he spotted a lone man jogging. He wasn't the first person Oikawa had seen, but he was the first person to stop dead in his tracks after seeing him. Sure, there had been a group of female joggers who had given him a second (and third) glance, but none of them had reacted this drastically. And as the man walked closer, he quickly realized why.

"Holy shit, it really is you. What are you doing here?"

Hajime Iwaizumi stood, even more attractive than Oikawa remembered him being. When did he start jogging shirtless? Maybe if he'd started about four years earlier, then they'd already be dating. _Now he looks mad, and he's saying something, what's he saying?_

"-staring? I asked you a question, Shittykawa, why aren't you answering?"

"Well, I thought you might want to be graced by the great Oikawa Toru's presence on this lovely Sunday- morning? Afternoon? Day." Iwaizumi looked less than pleased with this answer. "Okay, I was wondering how your group date went."

"Why would you come all this way just for that? Couldn't you just have called me or something?"

Oikawa sputtered. "Don't you think I tried that, Iwa-chan?"

"Sorry. I was lifting earlier, and you can't bring your phone into the weight room. Anyway, I know there's something you're not telling me, so I'm going to get dressed, we'll get lunch, and you **will** tell me what this is about."

* * *

Oikawa both was and was not expecting a ramen place for lunch.

"Alright, spill."

"So, I went to a party last night."

"Yeah, and? I thought you went to parties all the time."

"Sure, but Ushiwaka wasn't at any of those other ones."

And as Oikawa told him the story of how he and Ushiwaka had actually started to be okay, he felt himself feel better about the whole thing. And as he expected, Iwaizumi's reactions to the surprising revelations about Ushiwaka's personal life were hilarious.

"That guy had a girlfriend? Seriously?"

"Yeah! I didn't believe it, either. They had sex, too. And apparently she said he was good at it."

Iwaizumi about spit his ramen out at that. "That is not something I want to think about while I'm eating. Or ever."

"I almost hooked up with him, too. I got so jealous when I thought about you with those girls that I had a freak out and tried to have sex with the guy that I knew liked me, until he left when I said Iwa-chan. I know I fucked up, and I have to apologize somehow, and I have to-" They would never know what else Oikawa had to do, because Iwaizumi chose that moment to kiss him.

"Stop freaking out, dumbass. None of those girls were any fun, anyway. They only wanted to talk about boring stuff, when I wanted to hear about aliens. And yeah, you are going to have to apologize to Ushiwaka at some point, but I'll be there with you, even if that guy probably hates me right now. So stop worrying so much. I like you, too."

Oikawa couldn't have possibly asked for anything more.


	5. TanaEnno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka thinks he likes Ennoshita, but does he really? Or is this a misguided attempt to support Nishinoya?

"Hey, Ennoshita. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Tanaka. What is it?"

"I think I caught the gay."

_What the fuck? Gay isn't a disease to catch? And that wasn't even a question._

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, Noya's dating Asahi now, and I gotta support my bro, you know?"

"That's… very kind of you, Tanaka, but you can support him without being gay yourself. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Nishinoya isn't gay, either."

"He isn't? Then what is he?"

"I'm pretty sure he's bisexual. He still likes Kiyoko, doesn't he?"

"Oh, bisexual. I'm sure he mentioned that once, but I thought he said buy-sexual. Like he got boners from going shopping or something."

Ennoshita knew that Tanaka wasn't the smartest person around after having tutored him, but how was it possible that he was actually this stupid?

"Anyway, why are you telling me about this?"

"You can't fool me! I've noticed the pattern!"

"What are you talking about, Tanaka? What pattern?"

"You know, the pattern! Daichi and Suga, 1 and 2! They're basically married! Asahi and Noya, 3 and 4! I've been their third wheel enough times to know they really love each other. Kageyama and Hinata, 9 and 10! Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, 11 and 12! And who's 5 and 6? Us! We are!"

"That doesn't mean anything, Tanaka. I'm pretty sure that's just a coincidence. Anyway, since you're telling me this, you must think there's something I can do about it."

This was different. Tanaka looked… nervous? "Ever since I noticed the pattern, I've noticed other things, too. Like you- you're a good-looking guy- I don't know if I'd say you're cute, that still sounds pretty weird, but you look good-"

"Tanaka, I don't have all day. Please get to the point."

"Can I kiss you?"

"What the fuck? No! Why would you think anyone would have a positive response to that?"

"It worked on Tora."

"If you kissed him, why would you need to kiss me?"

"He's like my brother! It felt so wrong, like I would if I kissed Noya! You don't feel like that, so I'd know for sure if I kissed you!"

_If I don't do this today, he might never mention it again. But then again, he might, and I really don't want to risk that. Might as well just do it so I never have to do it again._

"Alright, fine. Just one, but no tongue. Make it quick. I don't want anyone else finding out about this."

"Wait, seriously? I didn't think you'd really do it."

"You can't just say something like that and then take it back when it doesn't suit you anymore."

"I mostly just wanted to see what you'd do, but now I'm really curious." They'd slowly been drawing closer to each other while they were talking, and Tanaka took that moment to close the final distance.

Ennoshita felt… nothing. Not that Tanaka was a bad kisser (he thought… he hadn't had much kissing experience) but he got zero enjoyment out of it. Tanaka seemed to agree, as he stopped pretty quickly.

"Nope, definitely not gay."

"That was never a possibility in the first place. You already knew you liked girls."

"I thought you might be a special case. Noya said he didn't realize he liked guys until he met Asahi."

"Well, even if you don't like me in that way, we can be friends, right?"

"I thought we were friends already."

"I meant… yeah, you're right. Let's keep being friends. No kissing, though. There will be no benefits of any kind."

"I think I can live with that."

It was then that Kinoshita and Narita walked into the locker room. Even though there was no way that the two of them could possibly know what had just happened, they were still afraid that they could sense it somehow. Were they standing too close together? Was there saliva smudged on their lips?

For their part, Kinoshita and Narita did notice an awkwardness between the other two people in the room, but as non-regulars of the Karasuno men's volleyball team, they had learned to disguise their intentions. They could probably just get the story out of Ennoshita later, anyway.


End file.
